I am going lay on you some things I have learned over the last 7 1/2 years as a 911 Dispatcher.
People call you for help. And then they LIE to you. This came as a big surprise to me when I first started dispatching. You CALLED me, why are you lying? I am just trying to help YOU. However, my bullshit radar is precisely tuned, I can smell hinky from a mile away.
When someone ‘forgets’ their name and birthday and you’re playing dispatch detective, they have given you one piece of the puzzle, they can’t think of date of birth and a fake name, one of the pieces will be them and another is probably a sibling or someone they know well. *** PSA lying is like waving a red flag in front of a bull or a juicy bone in front of a junkyard dog, the whole dispatch team is now game on and very rarely do you go unidentified. And bless those officers ’17, I am looking at you, that tell someone, ‘when dispatch figures out who you are, and they will, I will come back and charge you with GFI (giving false info). We did and he did too.
People will call 911 because someone is walking their dog twice a day during covid lockdown or because they heard a firework go off. People will call the business line and ask you how you are doing and talk about the weather and then casually mention that they are having chest and jaw pain or they have cut their leg mostly off with a rusty chainsaw. The best thing about being a dispatcher is everyday is different, the not so best thing is you don’t know when you’re going to get ‘that call’ or ‘that radio traffic’.
After you hear the words ‘one at gunpoint’, ‘one at taserpoint’ or ‘one running’ you get a cardio workout equivalent to running a race. After you hear the words ‘shots fired’ your heart stops. Time stops. But the job doesn’t stop. You fall back on all the training you hoped you’d never need and you make the calls, send the medics, and 18 minutes until you get an official ‘all officers are code 4’ takes three years off your life and ages you decades. When I started this job I only wanted everyone to come home from every shift I did and I am thankful that has been case.
I have learned things I didn’t want to know, I have sympathy dry heaved with someone who was vomiting who thought I was mocking them. I have been instructed that if someone asks you if it is a stupid question, asking them “do you think it is a stupid question?” might be construed as condescending. I have danced the line with an aggressive caller, matching wit up to the point when I knew I didn’t want to sit in Paul and the Chief’s office having the call played out loud for me. I have cried, laughed, high five’d myself, been proud of the job we’ve done and wished I’d handled somethings differently.
This job changes you, not all for the better but not all for the worst. I am cynical and skeptical but that will keep me from buying gift cards in retirement to avoid being arrested for missing jury duty. I am sarcastic and a smart ass but that is a healthy dark coping mechanism that has kept me sane through rough times. I am still empathetic, I will continue to want to help people. I have learned I am better at training someone than I thought I would be, I have more patience and kindness that I hope rubs off on my trainees and makes them more equipped for a tough job.
To my officers, I always wanted you to be safe, getting you home to your families meant everything to me. The teeny tiny threats I may have made, the eye rolls or the borderline snark you may have thought you heard on the radio, came from a place of sarcasm and fondness.
To my dispatchers, much like family, we might occasionally get on each others nerves but I love how if you messed with one of us you got the whole trailer park. We got that from our leader, he might get in a good dig, but woe on anyone who thought coming after one of us was a solid plan.
To admin and all the staff that keep the PD running. May there be no microwave fires disrupting your day, may you not get blind transferred a fun call, and may no one park in your spot.
There are many things I will miss, the people I worked with being the top of that list. There are things I will not miss at all, I’m looking at your driving complaints… ***PSA if you call in a driving complaint, and it involves merging, don’t call 911. They almost ran you into the center lane and/or sidewalk because it is at least 50% possible that you decided it was a birthright, not a lane.
Save 911 for the emergencies, look up your non emergency number and program it in your phone. The first question a 911 Dispatcher is always going to ask you is what is the address of your emergency, so have that first. They aren’t moving on until they get it. We are not the hurt feelings police, it is actually not illegal that they flipped you off or cursed. And remember, if you call 911 to report you hear fireworks and/or you use the phrase “I know what gunshots sound like”, Santa drowns a baby reindeer.
Enjoy your sweet tea. Kerri
Spill the Sweet Tea Sis 